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When Love Hurts

When Love Hurts

Recently, my husband and I have had to dole out some tough love to one of our adult children. I hate this part of parenting; it doesn’t make it any easier just because they are adults; but, because they are adults, they must take responsibility for their own actions and suffer the very adult consequences. The Bible does say we reap what we sow.
I keep telling myself this over and over, and while I know in my mind it is true, my heart is not buying it. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. We went from our house being so full it was about to bust at the seams, to having a large, empty space, in the house, and in our hearts.
Each child is a blessing from the Lord, even the difficult ones, and we are only given a very short time with them to raise them and teach them how to be Godly adults. I keep asking myself, why, why didn’t our child take our advice to heart? Why didn’t this adult child of ours learn from OUR mistakes? Where did we go wrong? We aren’t perfect, no parent is, we make mistakes, but even in our mistakes we try to help our children the best we possibly can. We bend over backwards, laying our own desires and sometimes needs to help them, to lead them and guide them, only to have them toss our advice, words of wisdom and lessons aside.
I am supposing our heavenly Father asks the same questions about us. Why don’t they listen to me? Why don’t they respond to the tug I place on their heart and by pass all the pain and suffering they go through when they don’t listen? Why don’t they learn from the countless examples I gave them in My Word?
We have all been given that same free will. Even seasoned Christians still get caught up in the “I know what I am doing” lie from time to time. Why do we do this? Life is so much simpler when we are obedient to our heavenly Father. He lays it all out for us in His Word; His Holy Spirit endwells every believer, leading and guiding us, giving us plenty of warning when we are straying. So why do we do it? I know the answer, I am just rambling while I search in my head for another answer; but it’s not coming, because there is only one answer. Sin.
God gave Adam one rule in the garden of Eden, “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:16-17; ONE command; and he didn’t obey it. Look at the consequences of that one act of disobedience.
The very first command God gave with a promise was, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12.

Honoring our parents must be pretty important to God being as He promises long life if we obey this command.

These two commands are so very simple, 'don't touch, and honor your parents', but we make them so very hard. God is our heavenly Father, do we honor Him with everything we do and say? Do we even honor Him every day?
Just as we have to dole out tough love on our children from time to time, our heavenly Father has to do the same with us. But God is good, and He is faithful, when we repent, and come back to Him, He welcomes us with open, loving arms, just like the father of the prodigal son. We are going to make mistakes, we are going to go astray from time to time, and our children are no different. No matter how we have raised them or what we’ve taught them, they are human, they have free will and they have the same sin nature that was given to man that day in the garden.
So, as I am mentally preparing to pack items left behind, and get the house back in order, I know when our child lets go of the anger and looks back at what has happened, they will know in their heart that mom and dad were right, and, that these events occurred because we love them. Momma and daddy will be here, arms wide open when they are ready to come back, we have already forgiven them, and our love for them will never fade; just like our heavenly Father.
So what are we to do in the mean time?
Cry, cry and cry
Pray for our child(ren)
Give the pain to God
Repent of any wrong doing
Trust God
Move forward
Be here for our child(ren)

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Jenn

19 comments:

  1. Hi Jenn, this post has really touched my heart... God's unending love for us and how we disregard it. Feeling so guilty right now but ready to repent and move forward. Thank you.

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    1. God bless you, and thank you for visiting Is It Monday, Yet?

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  2. Oh, Jenn, it is SO hard to hold onto truth when a child needs to hear it, but all we want to do is give them a hug and FIX everything for them (which of course we can never do . . .). So thankful for the tough love of our heavenly Father who never errs in his balance between love and discipline.

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    1. Amen Michele! Thank you so much for visiting Is It Monday, Yet?, God bless you!

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  3. Everyone has their free agency. We hate the sin but love the sinner. Thank goodness for repentance.

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  4. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time with your adult child, Jennifer. But, yes, often our challenges and joys in parenting bring a deeper understanding of our Heavenly Father. Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.

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    1. Thank you Aimee, and thank you for visiting Is It Monday, yet? God bless you!

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  5. Jenn - I am so sorry. I know this is a hard season. for you. I have no idea why our children don't listen or learn from our mistakes... I often ask myself the same question when one of my adult children do the same thing. I am praying for you and believing God to restore the relationship with your son. IN the mean time, I pray He comforts your heart and gives you peace as you look to Him. I am your neighbor today at #FaithFilledFriday ...
    Also, I would love if you would consider linking up to my NEW Thursday Party #TuneInThursday it stays open until Sunday. You can find it here: http://debbiekitterman.com/new-linkup-tune-in-thursday-1-who-is-your-god/
    (Please feel free to delete the link if you feel it is inappropriate to post here).

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    1. Debbie, thank you so very much for your prayers, and for the invite to your Thursday party, I will be over there in a few minutes! And I don't mind you sharing your link here :)
      God bless you!

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    2. Jennifer you are so welcome for both the prayers and the invite! and thank you for letting me share the link and especially, thanks for linking up to #TuneInThursday this week. I look forward to seeing you this next week too.

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  6. Such a heart felt post full of love and concern for your child. Sending prayers your way that things will get worked out soon. Thanks for sharing on #HomeMattersParty

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    1. Thank you very much Donna, God bless you!

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  7. Yes, I'm sure God must feel the same way about us when we disobey. It must be a struggle to see your adult children not follow-I see it with my younger sister and my parents. It hurts my heart.

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    1. Thank you for visiting Is it Monday, Yet? Rosanna, God bless you

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  8. Our Heavenly Father never errs in his Love for us even if it feels wo painful to us, he had the right plans for us. Thanks for sharing with us at the Blogger’s Pit Stop
    Pit Stop Crew

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    1. Amen His plans are the best! Thanks for visiting Is it Monday, Yet?

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  9. Boy do I know about this! We have had our experience with holding children accountable and the hardest things we ever did as parents, things that broke our hearts to uphold, were the best things we ever did . Remembering how God parents us and what His Word said were critical. My heart understands my friend. Praying for you:)

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers Gretchen, and thank you for visiting Is it Monday, Yet? God bless you

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  10. This is a reminder every parent needs. Raising children is difficult and reading this encouragement helped me and others, I am sure to remember that God is has unending love, patience and understanding for all of us!

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Have a blessed day, and God bless you!
Jenn

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