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How to Strive to Have a Godly Marriage - Oneness

When we got married God no longer saw us as two people, but one; the union of marrige goes so much deeper than taking on your husbands last name, it is spiritual, marriage was ordained by God.
After God created Adam He said it was not good that the man should strive alone, thus He created woman, from man, to be mans helpmeet. But God knew we could not live a life-long relationship together without union and oneness. He created the perfect union and relationship when He created the marriage covenant.
Marriage oneness brings blessings -
*blessings of companionship - Malachi 2:14 "Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant"
*blessings of encouragement - you should be your spouses number one encourager with daily praises
*blessings of intimacy
*blessings of protection - you should warn your spouse/each other of problems with the kids, or in the house, or sin, jobs, ect. And heed each others warnings
*blessings of caring for each other
*blessings of loving one another
*blessings of communication
*blessings of answered prayer
Genesis 2:18-24 "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Learning to grow as husband and wife, and being one, as God sees us, can be fun, fulfilling, and frustrating from time to time! To me, the idea of being a Godly wife and having a Godly marriage is very fulfilling, but {there's always a but}, when two sinners live under the same roof, bound by marriage, things can get a bit rocky from time to time! And we won't even get started talking about when miniture versions of the adults are added to the equation!
Matthew 19:5-6 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder

." Mark 10:8 "And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh."
Ephesians 5:31 "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
God created the wife to be the weaker vessel; she is frail, tender, loving, caring, affectionate, kind and more in touch with emotions. God created men and women to be different from each other, to compliment one another. My husband and I can be sitting watching a movie about war, while he is enthrilled with the battle and uniforms, I am sitting here in tears, knowing each of those soliders were someones son, husband and father!
Husbands need to wash themselves with the Word of God, reading it daily with their wives. God viewed the marriage as the key part of His creation. I love it when my husband reads and prays with me, nothing makes me feel closer to him than when we are in prayer or God's Word together.
Date nights are a good way to rejuvenate and get closer; if you are like us, your budget isn't always on track to go out on a date, through the years we have come up with some pretty creative ways to have date night at home with the kids home too! They get to have their evening of fun {safely} watching movies, playing games, eating all sorts of fun foods while my husband and I have a quiet dinner for two by candle light!
Genesis 2:15 "And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it."
The woman is the keeper of the home, while the man is the problem solver, and brings home the bacon. I love being a stay at home mom and house wife. This is where I am supposed to be, my family needs me and depends on me; we have gone without from time to time, but we've always had what we needed because my God, not my husband, provides what we need.
I Timothy 5:8 "Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day."
God and the husband are head of the house, and should be in control of it, mom is the keeper of the house. If the husband and God aren't in control of the house satan will be, because she (the wife) is the weaker vessel. Being the keeper of the home is differnt than being head of the house; I've taken on that role in our early years of marriage before my husband got saved, and I don't want it! It's a tough job that God designed men to do. Man was given specific responsibilities, and women were given specific responsibilities, but they are both different, when they are one in their marriage they fit together perfectly.
The wife is the nurturer, she is her husbands supporter, his number one fan. Ladies, if we don't support our husbands, who is? I'll tell you who, if we are not there for them, satan will be more than happy to bring some young thang in their path that would be happy to cheer him on......I know sometimes it is hard to be supportive, but he is your husband, even if he won't admit it, he needs you and your support.
Any part of your life that damages oneness needs to be resolved or changed NOW. Marriage is not a partnership; it is unity with each other, and God. If you and your husband are living like roommates, it's time to step up and get on your knees ladies, pray, seek and ask the Lord what He wants YOU to do and obey. Selfishness ruins marriage; you must put off 'self'; die to each other daily; if your not one, your not working together.
I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
If the husband isn't doing what God designed him to do in the marriage, his prayers could be hindered. But remember ladies, YOU cannot change your husband, YOU cannot make him do what is right ..... you can pray for him, you can pray for your marriage, you can change you and you can do what is right, and God will deal with your husband.
God has given you the marriage together; and expects you to do it together - fighting (for your marriage) together; crying out together; praying together, so that He may bless you. The inheritance is given to the marriage; when your marriage is on the solid foundation of Christ it will give your children security.
We are to be one.
Matthew 3:10 "And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire."
There should be no secrets in a marriage, (outside of surprise parties, birthdays and anniversary's!) Email, phones, social media, ect. Should always be open to each other at all times.
Romans 8:17 "And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."
Enemies of marriage are selfishness and pride.
There are Five Love Languages, they are ..
Acts of service; serving one another
Gifts; giving each other little gifts
Quality time
Physical touch
Affirmation, meeting each others needs
So how can you be one with your spouse?
Grow together - when my husband and I do things together, from cooking to parenting, it raises my respect and adoration for him.
Attend regular church service together - early in our marriage I attended a lot of church services without my husband. It hurt my feelings that he didn't want to go with the kids and me but I didn't let it stop me from going, and God blessed that and laid it on my husbands heart to go with us, which resulted in him coming to Christ!
Study God's Word together - like I said eariler, I love it when my husband and I study God's Word together, it makes me feel like I am right where I am supposed to be, under the cover of my husband, blanketed by Christ.
Pray together - praying with my husband, not meal prayer, but going to the throne together, draws me closer to him than anything else. It makes me feel like he cares about the things I care about and am concered about, and it shows me that he too is vulnerable.
Put God first in your life and marriage
Put off 'self' and pride daily
Die to God and your spouse daily
I John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin."
Matthew 16:24 - "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."
Philippians 2:3 "Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind."

The closer you and your husband grow to God, the closer you will grow to each other. You have to die to self and die to your husband, daily. You must grow together in oneness and have unity.

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  1. Jenn, there is never been more need for what you wrote about then now. Marriage in the christian world are falling apart by the minutes. The women do not want what they call the old fashion marriages. I tell them being the keeper of the home is like bring the queen of their kingdom. They are to bring order to that kingdom so the children and husband can do their roles better. Life flows better when the keeper of the home is content with her kingdom. Not that women can't work but it sure is harder. Great post.

    1. Amen, and amen Betty! I get on my soap-box around here from time to time about if women would take their rightful and God given roles back and let men have their God given roles and men actually take them and do what they are supposed to, this world would be a better place, and our children and families would be so much better! Thank you for visiting Is It Monday, Yet? God bless you!

  2. Thank you for the reminders of the blessings of marriage! It's intentional work every day to make a marriage last. It's choosing service and love even when you don't want to.
    God has truly blessed me with my husband!
    Visiting from #RaraLinkup

    1. Thank you so much Julie for visiting Is It Monday, Yet? You are so very correct, it is choosing to love! God bless you!

  3. Thanks for all of these great scripture references! I agree that doing things together- especially attending church- helps to keep my marriage strong.

  4. Thanks, Jennifer, for your wonderful article on marriage. As a pastor's wife and writer, I pen articles often on the topic of marriage which is so needed in our culture and the church! Thanks for your godly perspective and voice. Blessings!

  5. It's so important for both husband and wife to die to self and put each other first with God at the center of the marriage. If we are living for ourselves and not putting God first, we are setting ourselves up for a hard time. But if we put Him first and base our marriage on that, we will be able to serve Him as we should. Blessings to you! I'm your neighbor at #TuneInThursday.


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