Recently, my husband and I have had to dole out some tough love to one of our adult children. I hate this part of parenting; it doesn’t make it any easier just because they are adults; but, because they are adults, they must take responsibility for their own actions and suffer the very adult consequences. The Bible does say we reap what we sow.
I keep telling myself this over and over, and while I know in my mind it is true, my heart is not buying it. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. We went from our house being so full it was about to bust at the seams, to having a large, empty space, in the house, and in our hearts.
Each child is a blessing from the Lord, even the difficult ones, and we are only given a very short time with them to raise them and teach them how to be Godly adults. I keep asking myself, why, why didn’t our child take our advice to heart? Why didn’t this adult child of ours learn from OUR mistakes? Where did we go wrong? We aren’t perfect, no parent is, we make mistakes, but even in our mistakes we try to help our children the best we possibly can. We bend over backwards, laying our own desires and sometimes needs to help them, to lead them and guide them, only to have them toss our advice, words of wisdom and lessons aside.
I am supposing our heavenly Father asks the same questions about us. Why don’t they listen to me? Why don’t they respond to the tug I place on their heart and by pass all the pain and suffering they go through when they don’t listen? Why don’t they learn from the countless examples I gave them in My Word?
We have all been given that same free will. Even seasoned Christians still get caught up in the “I know what I am doing” lie from time to time. Why do we do this? Life is so much simpler when we are obedient to our heavenly Father. He lays it all out for us in His Word; His Holy Spirit endwells every believer, leading and guiding us, giving us plenty of warning when we are straying. So why do we do it? I know the answer, I am just rambling while I search in my head for another answer; but it’s not coming, because there is only one answer. Sin.
God gave Adam one rule in the garden of Eden, “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:16-17; ONE command; and he didn’t obey it. Look at the consequences of that one act of disobedience.
The very first command God gave with a promise was, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12.
Honoring our parents must be pretty important to God being as He promises long life if we obey this command.These two commands are so very simple, 'don't touch, and honor your parents', but we make them so very hard. God is our heavenly Father, do we honor Him with everything we do and say? Do we even honor Him every day?
Just as we have to dole out tough love on our children from time to time, our heavenly Father has to do the same with us. But God is good, and He is faithful, when we repent, and come back to Him, He welcomes us with open, loving arms, just like the father of the prodigal son. We are going to make mistakes, we are going to go astray from time to time, and our children are no different. No matter how we have raised them or what we’ve taught them, they are human, they have free will and they have the same sin nature that was given to man that day in the garden.
So, as I am mentally preparing to pack items left behind, and get the house back in order, I know when our child lets go of the anger and looks back at what has happened, they will know in their heart that mom and dad were right, and, that these events occurred because we love them. Momma and daddy will be here, arms wide open when they are ready to come back, we have already forgiven them, and our love for them will never fade; just like our heavenly Father.
So what are we to do in the mean time?
Cry, cry and cry
Pray for our child(ren)
Give the pain to God
Repent of any wrong doing
Be here for our child(ren)
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